Thank you so much for articulating this. I have been thinking about this a lot over the years. As an autistic person myself, I have responded to the messages that there is a Right Way to do anything, really, and when noticing all the differences between my kids’ friends’ families and the mostly neurotypical families, I had always wondered why we had so much trouble. But for a while now, when I notice myself falling into that mindset, I remind myself that I am doing my best for my own specific kids — all of whom are neurodivergent. And, because they and the world at large require such intense energetic focus from my own system, I am always parenting on empty. I don’t have the answer to “filling my own cup,” but I am doing my best to address my own family’s needs, as a unit and individually. Parenting books don’t help me. I have to find it myself.
Thank you so much for articulating this. I have been thinking about this a lot over the years. As an autistic person myself, I have responded to the messages that there is a Right Way to do anything, really, and when noticing all the differences between my kids’ friends’ families and the mostly neurotypical families, I had always wondered why we had so much trouble. But for a while now, when I notice myself falling into that mindset, I remind myself that I am doing my best for my own specific kids — all of whom are neurodivergent. And, because they and the world at large require such intense energetic focus from my own system, I am always parenting on empty. I don’t have the answer to “filling my own cup,” but I am doing my best to address my own family’s needs, as a unit and individually. Parenting books don’t help me. I have to find it myself.
Thank you for leaving such a reflective comment and sharing your experience.
I don’t know the answer to “filling our cup” either but all we can do is try our best one imperfect moment at a time x